An LSLP excerpt from Bal Natu's Letters Regarding Conversations with The Awakener.
Bal Natu on Conversations
The writing of Conversations is not the result of inspiration or intuition. It is a wee bit of a recognition (not revelation) of my relationship with Meher Baba, the Father and Mother in One. I am happy to admit that the Conversations form a most delightful part of my life with Baba, a way to be in His close presence. The Conversations are neither totally ''real'', nor completely "fictional". The percentage of "truth" contained in them is for the readers to decide and judge. And I assure you that I will not disagree or argue with anyone about their judgment.
A Conversation is my play with Baba 's presence, and, at the same time, a game that He plays with me. In the begining, I clearly view a sunlit peak, but do not know how to scale it, how to reach the top. Or sometimes I hear a piece of a refrain, or a rhytlun, but do not find the words or notes to make a melodious song out of it. However,
through the suspense and uncertainly of this playful challenge, my feeling of intimacy with Baba blossoms. It exerts a tender pull, leading me to the melodies that contribute to form a Conversation. However, I often wonder whether I have succeeded in presenting it in the way He expects of me!
As for how the Conversations began, it is hard for me to pinpoint a specific moment or episode. It is as though I had become accustomed to walking in the Garden of the Awakener, taking in the fragrance and beauty of the place, which filled my heart. And it is as though every time I entered the garden, I went in by a different gate, and that each time, He was there to greet me.After so many visits, which have transformed my life, I can no longer recollect by which gate I first entered that blessed Garden.
I am like a crooked dried twig on Baba's universal tree. When the bird- the presence of the Awakener- comes and perches on the twig, it gradually comes to life, and buds sprout. The tender shoots and leaves with their lovely soft colors appear. They begin to rustle in harmony with all the other leaves on the tree and with the tree as a whole. These song-like rust lings and movements form a Conversation. When the bird flies away, the twig returns to its former shape and state. Now if you ask me specific details about a Conversation, I won't be able to say or remember anything but the general idea of it. But every Conversation deepens my trust that I am His dry
twig- that I belong to the Awakener.
